What’s in a Name?

Why do (some) Indian people pay so much attention to the name of a person?  Does the meaning of your name really influence your life?

In my experience, as with other issues, reactions to one’s name are based on generation.  First generation Indians put more emphasis on the meaning of your name.  Second generation Indians tend not to care.

1G people grew up believing the name matters.  They understand the etymology of the name.  They understand the Hindi definition of the term.  2G people may not know that a name is supposed to matter.  Of course, if they don’t know it’s supposed to matter, whether they know the Hindi translation or not is immaterial.  It makes no difference to them.  For 2GIs, it’s a point of discussion for the sake of trivia.  It’s more akin to being a good conversationalist.  It doesn’t have any deeper significance besides the fact that it’s an Indian name and an Indian person they’re dealing with.

How does the meaning of a name matter to 1Gs?  Although I cannot say this with any scientific proof, since these are unverified observations, conversations have shown me that 1G people actually believe that the meaning of your name is who you are as a person.  They really take it to heart. 

As an extension, I have come across situations where people act towards you in a manner consistent with the definition of your name.  Like many things in Indian culture and behavior, it is a self-fulfilling prophecy.  They think you are supposed to be a certain way and so they start treating you like that and hence the belief becomes reality.  For good or for bad.  Your name becomes who you are!

I have seen 1GIs behave differently with me when I tell them my name.  It is an immediate reaction, sometimes positive and sometimes not.  In fact, at times they want to change it.  They give me a nickname or use my initials.  They don’t want to use my name and be reminded of the meaning – they don’t want to be influenced by it!  Could it be that it is a sign of friendship to use a nickname?  Sure, it can, and I know when it is.  Most of the time it’s not.  It’s completely absurd to me!

When I talk to my 2GI friends, it is insignificant.  They tend to accept it and not think twice.  They may also find nicknames for me but their reasoning for doing so are very different.  They do it because that’s what friends do.  How do I know that is why they are doing it?  Because they don’t give me a nickname until much later – when we have become closer – just like a good friend would do.  2GIs may also morph my name, but again, it is in a positive way.  Some friends who are 2GI and use a slang language to talk (many South Asians use a modified African-American dialect), they fit my name within that slang.  Gautam becomes “what’s up G?”!

2GIs use your name only as a tag to call you by or to signify closeness if a nickname is used.  1GIs may do so also but are much more likely to be affected by the meaning of your name.