Blessed by Extremism, Cursed by Moderation

Blessed by extremism, cursed by moderation.  Doesn’t that sound counter-intuitive? 

Contemporary thinking in almost all aspects of life is that extremes are a bad thing.  When you think of extremism you think of fanaticism and obsessiveness.  Extreme religious fundamentalists come to mind.  Suicide attacks on innocent people.  At our daily life level, alcohol and drug abusers are extremists.  Their behavior is harmful for them and the people in their lives.  People who work too many hours neglect family and friends and the sense of balance they themselves need.  Even in our dietary habits, too much of any one kind of food is not good.  Most people would agree moderation is the way to go!  I generally agree too.

Could there be an exception?  People who are 1.5GIs are the exception.  I don’t think being 1.5GI is a good thing.  I acknowledge it may appear from the outside to be a great thing.  You can speak the language of your native country, always a big issue in the South Asian community.  You are more “Indian” or you seem to be.  You adapt to the new country, you do not have an accent, you understand the systems, attitudes and behaviors and are therefore “American” also.  You straddle both cultures.  People may even wish they were 1.5GI.

Being 1.5GI is like the middle way in the immigration and assimilation spectrum.  By definition, you are neither 1GI nor 2GI.  That should be a good thing, right?  Why would someone not want to fit in in both cultures?  If I could have chosen it, I would much rather be 1GI or 2GI.  Being a moderate, 1.5GI, would not have been my choice.  Why?

When it comes to roots and the feelings that emanate from having clear roots, I want to be an extremist.  I don’t like being in no-mans land.  Neither do I fully fit into the South Asian culture of most of my peers in the US nor do I fit in with the prevalent thinking of people in India.  I was not a FOB and I was not an ABCD.  I was a little of both.

As with almost anything this complicated, there are many factors that go into this feeling of not fitting in either country completely, only fitting in partially anywhere you are.  It could be my personal situation and my own early adulthood experiences.  It could be my personality or the circumstances of my parents’ immigration.  If I had adopted more of the American culture, I may not feel like this.  When my friends were listening to rap music and following the African American culture in college in the manner and to the extent South Asians did and have, maybe I should have done that too.  There was no way for me to go back and re-learn or experience the 1GI life, so that’s not even an option.  But I could have become more 2GI.

Or could I?  Did being 1.5GI mean I could not have been 2GI?  Of course, there are degrees to assimilation.  But really are 1.5GI and 2GI mutually exclusive?  There is overlap, but could I have been different and adopted more of the American culture where the overlap would have been greater?

Is this just my story?  Am I in no-mans land because of who I am, because of my family, because the way I was raised?  I am not that self-centered to think I am the only person to experience this in the world.  I know this is common, but how common?  How many 1.5GIs are there?  Do they all feel this way?  Have sociologists studied the phenomenon of 1.5Generation Indians in the US to the extent they can give me some answers?

But even if someone can give me answers, it would be an exercise in mentally understanding why I feel the way I do.  Would it erase the fact that I don’t completely, and completely is the operative word here, fit in anywhere?  If I could have chosen, I would have chosen being an extremist.  I would not have chosen being a 1.5GI.