New York Times Weddings & Celebrations

I have been reading the New York Times online for well over a couple of years now.  They have interesting stories of the world, the US, and of course about NYC.  I don’t read the news as a prelude to getting to know NYC as I don’t have any intention of moving there.  But it’s such a dynamic place and the Times is, as I truly realize now, an iconic newspaper.

About a month or two ago, I was reading the Fashion & Style section of the newspaper.  I think a friend had sent a link to an article on it.  I started browsing the site and came across the Weddings & Celebrations section.  I read the dozen or so summaries of peoples’ marriages and found it was quite interesting.  I wasn’t blown away by the stories but I can say I am now, moreso after watching the videos which I hadn’t done earlier.

While the Times summarizes most of the marriages by providing education and work information of the bridge, bridegroom and their parents, they go indepth on 3-4 stories each week.  These are really the ones I enjoy reading or watching.  They profile young adults generally in their mid twenties to early thirties.  The videos are about 5 minutes each.  You hear the married couple talk about how they met, their first date, the things they liked about each other, and the proposal. 

In two recent videos and one article, three grooms mentioned that they took the time to ask their girlfriend’s parents of their approval before proposing.  I thought this was great!  It’s something I see myself doing.  It sounds old-fashioned perhaps but the important thing is the thought the grooms had when they did that.  It’s about respect.  They were about to marry a mother and father’s child, the ones who took care of her for so many years.  Now, they were saying they would take care of their daughter.  It’s such a great thing to do!  It’s also very romantic and chivalrous!

Actually, I thought I was perhaps being a bit old-fashioned (I like to think of it as being romantic) to think I would ask my girlfriend’s parents for approval.  But clearly, there are many others that still do that.  One guy mentioned that he was more terrified of asking his girlfriend’s parents than he was asking her!  Even though I haven’t gone through it myself, I can understand what he means!

Before anyone says this is chauvinistic or harks back to the days when women were considered property, which is probably when this tradition started, I don’t mean it as any of this.  I see it as a tradition that can be borrowed and maintained without bringing along all the baggage about it’s history and origin.  It doesn’t mean you think of women as property.  It has nothing to do with anything else except showing your girlfriend’s parents that you are an honorable and well-intentioned man.

And at the expense of going against my own argument, talking to her parents also doesn’t really mean you’re asking for permission per se.  Chances are that you and your girlfriend know you will get married.  If her parents said no, that wouldn’t hold you back from going forward.  It could potentially cause a lot of issues if they did say no, and that’s a different ballgame and discussion altogether, but you would proceed nonetheless.