Finally – My Long Lost NRI Returned Brother
I’ve found my NRI-returned-to-India long-lost brother! That’s right, folks, it appears that I have hit upon a guy who will keep me sane because he’s going through the same crap I am! It’s been a while since I came across someone who was humorous, intelligent, had the ability to make a good philosophical point, and, most importantly, someone who’s experiences I could relate to! Tonight, I found one such soul - neoIndian – also a non-resident Indian (NRI) who returned to India.
Here are a couple of Neo’s posts that are right on the money:
a) Return to India myth #2. Neo is absolutely right when he says the following:
Perhaps the most unsettling realization for Neo after his return to India has been this: For the rest of his life, he will almost certainly feel different from the local population – no matter where he stays in the world.
It’s the same for yours truly! Damn! Double damn!
But yes, two years after moving to Bangalore, it’s been a “challenge” (don’t you just love euphemistic management jargon?) for the Neos to diversify their friends circle away from other US-returned people.
Neo’s neighbors (many of whom have never lived outside India), would be a great natural addition to his list of friends (and be a great source of convenient next-door play dates for Junior), but there are huge differences.
Granted Neo and his reasons for the differences are not the same as mine, the fact remains that what he says is absolutely right and relevant for my situation too. I would love to build friendships with my neighbors and my cousins. I’ve tried! Unfortunately, I cannot completely (don’t you just love my ability to put a positive spin on things?) relate to the folks I meet here, even someone like my cigar friend. My family keeps heckling me, much like they heckle Neo apparently, which I have to admit I am having great pleasure in knowing about. (Alright, alright, keep your panties on – it’s not a sick pleasure. I feel his pain. It’s just nice to be reminded that others are going through the same thing every once in a while!) Worse than my neighbors and cousins is trying to understand the people in the village of North Delhi and to try to get them to understand me. To think only folks with a certain background will “get me” and accept me for who I am is truly sad.
(As an aside, my c.f. has recently been telling me that I need to be Indian since I’m living in India. The other day, in quite an angry manner I must add, she said either I behave like Indians or I should leave India. I was a bit flabbergasted to tell you the truth! I had never had someone tell me in such serious terms that I should leave the country! Unfortunately, I cannot do either right now. This much is true, though, large degree of adoption of Indian behavior will never be possible for me.)
Now, where do I find other US-returned people in New Delhi? In fact, last few weeks I have thinking of just that – meeting new people. I thought maybe I can move near the sports complex in South Delhi and use sports as the medium. Meeting people in The Village (henceforth, my term for North Delhi) is not an option. I know I will have better luck hanging out with the crowd in a village in Rajasthan. I might be able to make South Delhi work (okay, it’s sort of like the round peg in the square box thinking I’m following here, but you have to give me kudos for my very positive attempt of faking my reality into reality).
Bombay is possible. It’s a thought that again tried its damndest to shift its way from the back of my mind to the front a few days ago. I didn’t let it hang around very long, I pushed it right back. I can’t possibly make a move to Bombay at this time. It has taken me two years and I’m finally familiar with Delhi. I have a sense of the good and bad parts of town. I know the places to hang out. I can’t go back to square one again! Or can I? Should I think about this?
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